Week 1 Recap

[Dirty Moose]

[u][b]The Smashers Part Duex: When sequels go bad[/b][/u]

For those of you that might not remember, or just didn't care in the first place, there is (was) some kind of a rivalry between us and the Smashers. This all started because way back when I assembled a team consisting of people from work (The Smashers), then decided to play with the GJs instead. I had many good reasons for this, but the Smashers didn't seem to understand any of them. They began to define their very existence for the sole purpose of beating the GJs. Fueled mostly by their Coach Brian with whom I worked very closely with at work. The only problem was that they were completely inept at accomplishing this, and with every ensuing futile attempt the goal of beating the GJs was built up even higher until it meant more to the Smashers then winning the World Series or the Super Bowl. They began to obsess about it, their wives would tell me they talked in their sleep about destroying the GJs. They couldn't concentrate at work, their favorite foods lost their taste to them. They would inadvertently type things like "Kill the Jetsons" in to their emails with out knowing. And on at least one occasion they were seen in the cafeteria sculpting a bust statue of George Jeston himself out of mashed potatoes, then stomping it into oblivion until they were removed by security screaming "George!! We'll get you George!! if it's the last thing we ever do!!".

When I witnessed this I was saddened, and decided I had to do something, so I single handedly tried to throw our next 4 games against them. Well that didn't work, my ineptitude was succeeded only by theirs. Then during our 6th meeting the unthinkable happened, they won. Yep, they won. The only way I can explain this with out losing faith in the world as I know it is this: A wise man once told me, "Infinite monkeys with infinite typewriters after an infinite amount of time will eventually produce the works of Shakespeare". So they were bound to win sooner or later. And they rightfully celebrated like they had won the Super bowl or World Series. They then decided that after reaching this pinnacle of the Gilruth Softball world, they would collectively call it quits. They all retired simultaneously, some say because they never wanted to lose that feeling of their most triumphant victory, others because their Coach Brian moved away and the rest of them were too apathetic to take over.

So, that brings us to last Tuesday. Someone managed to pull a team together that loosely resembled the Smashers, they were about half old Smashers and half new guys. The thing that was most glaring and upsetting about the new 're-tooled' Smashers was I didn't get one comment. Not one. There wasn't any talk about me being a traitor, about how they beat us last time we played or about how crapy I always play against them. NO talk at all, none. So that is why I am right now declaring and end to this so called rivalry. It is dead, defunct and is no more. What ever there was of it must have left to Washington with Coach Brian.

Here's what some had to say after seeing The Smashers Part Duex:

"Worst Sequel Ever" - Comic Book Guy
"That was the worst sequel I've seen since Legally Blonde 2, because Legally Blonde 1 was soo good" - Randy Lillard
"A Baby Story 23 was way better then that, but A Baby Story 42 was crap." - Kevin Dries
"Car Crashes 2-8 were all way better then that" - Chip McCann
"I don't know if Rocky 2-5 was better then that or not, I've never seen any Rocky movies" - Edgar Medina
"That doesn't hold a candle to Making the Band 93" - Ron Sostaric
"If Woody Allen ever made a sequel, it would be way better then that" - Jason Helms
"I never saw the original, but there's no way it could have been worse then that" - Adam Gilmore
"What the hell are you talking about, I wasn't even there!" - Quincy Harp
"They weren't that bad" - Darby Vicker
"Even though I beaned that big guy in the original, they both suck because they don't swing at my sweet pitches" - Jeremy Hart
"When Digestion Goes Bad 3 was way better then that" - Norm Hayes
"I've got fanmotherfuckingtastic Schwarzemotherfuckingnegger look-alike muscles bitches" - DJ Kroeger
"Huh, what? Yeah, the Red Sox won the World Series, not the Smashers dumb ass!" - George Nelson
"Is this game over yet?" - Andrew Clem



Anyway, so I mentioned vaguely something about a game that was played last Tuesday, well here's what happened.


[u][b]GEORGE JETSONS 19, SMASHERS 13[/b][/u]

The game started off kind of shaky with the vaunted top 3 going down in order. Normy would later explain his 1-5 night was due to his pre-occupation with keeping his stomach and bowels in check. A little too much information if you ask me. After that things got going though, the GJs scored 6 in the second by sending 14 GJs to the plate, partly with the help of Hart's deep towering fly ball to 2b after Wellner's belly flop triple. This inning was only over shadowed by the 8 run inning in the 4th which also sent 14 GJs to the plate, but left fewer runners stranded. That inning was highlighted by Soso's called shot over the right fielders head which cleared the basses and sent him motoring all the way around to score. The Smashers showed some life by countering with their own 8 run inning in the bottom of the 4th but the bottom of the GJ order was able to slam the door shut, lead by El Jefe himself with an RBI double in the final frame. The bottom of the order produced consistently all night, so you top of the order guys better take note. Especially El Jefe, with a perfect night going 4-4 and scoring 3 times, doing a great job of setting the table for the top of the order. He might even have to start reconsidering his traditions position in the line up. For all this the [b]MVJ [/b]goes to [b]El Jefe[/b]!! (I know, Hart technically had a 'perfect' night too, but a walk and sacrifice to deep 2b don't make for an MVJ award)




1 2 3 4 5 6 R H
GEORGE JETSONS 0 6 0 8 0 5 19 22
SMASHERS 2 1 0 8 1 1 13 -

PLAYER STATS
1 MCCANN 3-for-5, 2 2B, 3B, 3 R, 3 RBI
2 SOSTARIC 3-for-4, BB, HR, R, 5 RBI
3 HAYES 1-for-5, RBI
4 VICKER 1-for-3, 2 BB, 2 R
5 CLEM 3-for-4, 2B, 3 R
6 WELLNER 3-for-4, 2B, 3B, 2 R, 4 RBI
7 GILMORE 1-for-4, R, RBI
8 KROEGER 1-for-3, BB, 2 R, RBI
9 HART 2-for-2, BB, SF, 2B, 2 R, 2 RBI
10 MEDINA 4-for-4, 2B, 3 R, 2 RBI

TEAM STATS
BATTING AVERAGE: .579
ON-BASE PERCENTAGE: .614
SLUGGING PERCENTAGE: .921
OPS: 1.535

[IRon]

Ok, I just want to dispel any myths or rumors or innuedo....

I didn't point to RF all Babe Ruth style and then take the slow pitch softball downtown or anything. Nick and I were discussing baseball strategy before the game and I said there is often plenty of space out in RF but usually you don't get very many good pitches to send out that way. Well sure enough their RF was playing short, and the pitcher threw a sweet pitch on the outside corner.

Edgar, I think my stats are wrong, I'm afraid to say it but I only went 2-4.

[IRon]

by the way, Moose, what's with the avatar, did that moose paint himself in camo or what???

[eljefe]

I'd like to thank our subs, Andrew Clem and Darby Vicker, for playing with us last week. They really bailed us out when we were in quite a bind.

Ron's stats are updated from 3-for-4 to 2-for-4.

[Fence]

Great write up Nick, but somehow I knew you were going to leave out my two favorite plays of the game because you didn't want to write about yourself.

The first was in the bottom of frame one with a man on first and one out. A pop fly is hit over short stop and all I can hear is the Smashers bench yelling to the guy on first, "Go! Go! He'll never get to that one!" Well, little did they know that we did not have a mere mortal moose playing SS, but the incarnation of a Hindo god. There aren't many plays in baseball tougher than diving back over your glove shoulder and you made it perfectly. Too bad the guy on first didn't listen to the chorus of skeptics or you could have doubled him off.

My second favorite play looked like it was going to be a carbon copy of the first. Another pop fly to the deep 3B side of SS. You had a bead on it and this time everyone is expecting you'll haul in anoter spectacular grab. But this one is a little farther than the first. You jumped a little higher, stretched a little more, and from the sound of the thud when you hit the ground hurt a little more after this play. Your effort was commendable and it pained me just a little to confirm your inclination that even with all that the ball was about 2 feet beyond your glove at the apex of your leap. Still, that would have been a great picture if I only had a camera out in right center.

[Dirty Moose]

Ron-
You’re right, I took a little poetic license with the recap. But that doesn’t change the fact that you talked about doing it, then you did it. Right fielders will learn not to cheat up on you.

Edgar-
You’re right, that was one glaring omission from the recap. Thanks subs! You saved our bacon!

Chip-
I’ve never been compared to a Hindo God before, I’m honored, I think. Is that the one with the big fat belly, I guess that’s fitting

Adam-
I also forgot to mention, great GJ debut Gilmore! You shouldn’t have told anyone you haven’t played in 2 years, no one would have known.

[eljefe]

[quote="Bill Easton"]I will allow you to pass on the word to your team, or should I say your fellow ladies, that the rivalry is not dead. Unlike my predecessor, I will simply allow our future actions out on the only field to speak for us as that is all that matters. I believe bragging rights come with winning the season, not a game.

And yes, I said ladies, because the fact that some of your players are familiar with movies like Legally Blonde (an obvious chick flick with a name like that) and Woody Allen's works (a neurotic, self-serving, little man = woman), means either they were dragged to the movie by their wife/girlfriend/(or who knows maybe their boyfriend), or they wanted to see those movies on their own. In either case the term "NO SAC" come to mind because you have on the one side the age old question, "Who wears the pants in those relationships?" or on the other hand, someone who has lost touch with their masculinity. Then again maybe ladies is even giving your team a little too much credit. The way they clamor and like to chat it up, they remind me of some people when I was about 9 or 10. The little school girls gossiping in the halls.

So I guess we will see you girls on the ball field, but as ugly as you all are you might want to knock off the steroid use. You sure you are all not part of the East German, Women's Olympic Teams.[/quote]

[Sarge]

Why don't you tell little Billy Easton that if we're a bunch of ladies then his team (I'm using that word loosely) must be made up of littly girly men who are gender confused, because the Jetsons always wear the pants in that relationship. I would never insult the masculinity of a team that has
handed us more defeats than I have fingers to count with. I guess when you're as bad as the smaSHErs and your name has "SHE" right in the middle of it you really have nothing to hold on to but your feminity. If I wasn't away at school the smaSHErs would be wearing dresses and cooking me dinner after their usual horrible display of softball!

[Yes Mr. Spacely, Sir!]

Randy - Normally I'd be laughing when somebody uses "ladies" and "loose" in the same sentence. Somehow, this isn't as funny.

Chip - I'll tell you what is funny... I liked that second play also because I got a double off of that.

GJ's who are also S&C's - The REALLY funny part... Remember how disgusted all you guys were that a [i]Gilruth Softball Team[/i] had a website... a'la http://home.earthlink.net/~jrvanlan/

[IRon]

You're lucky there isn't a separate stat for weak pop-up barely out of the infield. I'm not so sure I'd be so proud of that double.

[Yes Mr. Spacely, Sir!]

Infiltrator...in case you haven't noticed I'm not here incognito. I'm here, and I like beer, so get used to it! Hey, someone's got to crash your love-fest (though Edgar, I give you [i]serious[/i] props for this website -- it rocks).

And I believe there is a stat for hitting it where the defenders aren't. It's called batting average.