Week 3 Recap

[Pancreas]

Holy shit, did George Jetson kick some ass last night, opening up their lead in the Gilruth League Tuesday DD to an amazing 6 wins and zero, that’s right, zero mother fucking losses. Even without our Wax Job we pulled it out. George Jetson is on a roll, and only losing a game will be able to stop this win streak! First game up, versus Bomotherfuckinghica.

George Jetsons 17, Bohica 11
Field 3, 8:00

SCORING SUMMARY 1 2 3 4 5 R H
BOHICA 3 2 3 3 0 11 -
GEORGE JETSONS 4 8 5 0 0 17 19

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PLAYER STATS
1 SOSTARIC 0-for-3, BB, R
2 DRIES 3-for-3, BB, 2 2B, 3B, 3 R, 3 RBI
3 CLEM 1-for-2, BB, 2 R, RBI
4 WELLNER 3-for-3, 2B, 3 R, 2 RBI
5 MCCANN 3-for-3, 2B, 3 R, 2 RBI
6 KROEGER 2-for-3, 2B, R, 4 RBI
7 GILMORE 2-for-3, 2B, R, 2 RBI
8 HELMS 3-for-3, 2B, R, 2 RBI
9 HARP 1-for-3, RBI
10 NELSON 0-for-2, BB, R
11 MEDINA 1-for-3, 2B, R

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TEAM STATS BATTING AVERAGE 0.613
ON-BASE PERCENTAGE 0.657
SLUGGING PERCENTAGE 0.935
OPS 1.593

This game was best defined by consistency. General good hitting, and general good fielding. First up is Sostaric, and he fucks up our great start by hitting a pop out, but Dries steps up after that and starts some good hitting. Drew “Whammy” Clem (we’re trying it out, let’s see if it sticks) then steps up to push Ichy in. Wellner, McCann, and Kroeger all have nice hits getting on. Gilmore, being the selfish son of a bitch he is, forces Pancreas out at second, so he can have all the glory of being on base. Though Helms decided to get on as well, little did Gilmore know that Q has DJ’s back and would gallantly take an out rather than give Gilmore his run stat. Way to go Q! A rather average inning, Jetson ahead by one.
The second inning came around, and Bohica was allowed two more runs. Bullshit, but whatever. Jetson took this insult and gave it to Bohica as they asked for, with everybody on the Jetsons getting a piece of this action like it was cheap French whore. Hits and RBIs were everywhere. The stats say Kroeger stuck out (damn, can even nail a cheap French whore, what the fuck) swinging at a ball that was actually thrown into the dugout, but I’m pretty sure it was actually a home run and the stat keeper just got it wrong. The highlight of the inning though was Gilmore crawling around in the dirt for no apparent reason after overrunning second base. He looked like a dog just after a bath. Most people would have walked back to second after overrunning, but not the Mighty Gillmore! Instead he flops his ass on the ground and crawls back. Way to go, that earns you the Web Gem of the week! Though I can’t overlook the hitting of Dries. With three men on base he hits a deep ball, scoring 3 RBIs, and pulls up on second. You have to hand it to the running of Itchy, only he can leg a home run into a double, way to go!
More hits by us get us five more runs the next two innings, while Bohica pulls in six, and we finally get to the fifth inning, which brings us to “This Week In Christianity”. Beep Beep Beep, Boop, Boop, Beep. Somebody forgot to go to confession this week, but it wasn’t our George Nelson. The Bohica batter hits a pop fly and a microsecond later a beam of light shines down from the Heavens on the Catholic Nelson, and God guides the ball to him. As the Bohica batter falls to his knees crying, “I’m sorry for touching that dog. Dear God, I’m sorry!” George ascends. Hovering five feet in the air, the ball lands directly in the glove of St. George DeNomar, who is smiling peacefully and without ego. Soon after, the inning and game were over, George walks over to the batter calmly and serenely, and puts one hand on his shoulder and with the other hand, puts him on the ground with one punch, yelling “Bee-atch!”. All is right in the world, Jetson’s win.

The Dries, Wellner, McCann, and Helms perfects all put them into the running. With a team like Bohica getting 11 runs, this game was all about offense. I feel like for some reason I should give the MVJ to Vicker, but instead it goes to Dries, for lots of RBIs and turning home runs into doubles.


George Jetsons 12, Rebels 10
Field 3, 9:00

SCORING SUMMARY 1 2 3 4 5 R H
GEORGE JETSONS 2 0 10 0 0 12 18
REBELS 7 1 0 2 0 10 -

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PLAYER STATS
1 SOSTARIC 2-for-4, 2B, 2 R, RBI
2 DRIES 3-for-4, 2B, 3B, 3 R, 3 RBI
3 CLEM 3-for-3, 2B, R, 2 RBI
4 WELLNER 1-for-3, 2B, R, RBI
5 MCCANN 2-for-3, R, 2 RBI
6 KROEGER 2-for-3, R
7 GILMORE 1-for-3
8 HELMS 1-for-2, BB
9 HARP 0-for-3, R, RBI
10 NELSON 2-for-3, 2B, R, RBI
11 MEDINA 1-for-2, BB, R, RBI

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TEAM STATS BATTING AVERAGE 0.545
ON-BASE PERCENTAGE 0.571
SLUGGING PERCENTAGE 0.758
OPS 1.329

Now this one was a tough ass mother fucking game. We were playing with the boob all night. Ronny-a-SoSo starts us off right this time with a single, Dries pushes him in, and then other stuff happened. Fence makes a badass catch in deep left. But that one out wasn’t enough to stop the Rebels from scoring mother fucking seven mother fucking runs. Mother fuck. I mean seriously guys, mother fucking seven. Inning 2 was all shit. No runs by our hero George Jetson, while the Rebels put another one on the board. Inning three is when it happened for us. Dries starts it out with a single, and the next four runners follow in his footsteps, though Wellner decides to make it a double, that’s a Moose for you. We have six runs, and two outs, but we keep pounding them, like a bad gaffer at a chocolate factory. Harp and Nelson get on, bringing El Jefe up to the plate, who decides he’s going to try out his dancing. El Jefe really knows how to put his ass into the swing, as our scorekeeper put it “Medina starts with a pirouette and ends with an RBI double”. The Jetsons put ten runs on the board this inning and decide there’s no more reason to work at bats. Somewhere in here, Nelson pushes into second base clearly out, but he kicks the ball out of the little bitch’s glove to stay safe. At least that’s what I saw while staring at the dirt in the dugout. We let the Rebels have two more runs, but they’re fucked anyway, so we eventually close out the game with style, Moose catching a hard line drive right to him. The Jetsons celebrate the win, while the Big Boob mulls his shitty performance, and Gilmore makes fun of him. Hart is so ecstatic after the game that he takes a header off of the bleachers while nursing a bad ankle. Beer was drunk and so was Dries, a good celebration was had. MVJ is tough for this one. Lots of decent hitting. Whammy was perfect, but it would have been nice to see a fourth at bat. The MVJ here is going to St George DeNomar for 0.667 hitting and kicking the short stop while sliding into second, making the Rebels look like assholes, which is really what softball is all about. Fuckin-A Bubba.

[IRon]

Great recap. The Jetsons were entertaining this week. In addition to Edgar and Gil's acrobatics, we also had a guy try to tackle Moose at 2nd and another try to knock the ball out of Gil's glove when he tagged the guy. The OF was also entertaining all evening, keeping things interesting by missing plenty of plays. I think the fans defintiely got their money's worth last night.

[Dirty Moose]

Yeah, what was going on out there last night? It seemed to be highly contagious. Everyone pitched in almost equally. I haven't seen so many balls go by since I watched the Naked Mile at the University of Michigan.

[Hoochie]

We thought we would entertain the infield since you guys usually entertain us.

[Dirty Moose]

Oh yeah, forgot to mention. That recap was so friggin hilarious I almost died. Not from laughing so hard but because I was drinking Dr. Pepper and it shot out my nose all over my monitor, which I happened to be holding because I was trying to wipe off the screen so I could read more. Consequently I got a pretty good electric shock out of it and was knocked to the floor. The dude in the cube next to me had to use the diffibrulator on the wall to start my heart again, but I'm fine now.